Sometimes we can be so fucking smart that we actually negotiate so much with our minds that we work against ourselves. This shows up in so many ways. Example: I have a goal to get out of bed at 5 am every Wednesday to go to a HIIT class. Then the brain negotiations: well you can always do it after work so that means you get to sleep an extra hour. I mean it doesn't really matter WHEN you do it, so long as you do it right? It’s kinda rainy out, do you want to get your shoes wet? If I don't go to class this time then I'll commit to going to the rest of the classes this month. etc etc etc and on and on it goes as I'm sure you understand because we do this with literally everything that is good for us and helps us out in any way.
This class, for example, is a priority. Even moreso-working out and feeling good is a priority. But maybe we can take it one step further.
In addition to making something a priority-we must make it non-negotiable.
We make action steps that will help us achieve our goals (if they’re working and serving us) non-negotiable. Ie: we do not make room for allowing our minds to out smart us out of the things that we truly want. There are a lot of things as a creative that I don’t really want to do but I know that I need to do them. I need to do them to allow my voice and vision to be heard and seen, I need to do them to create an audience, I need to do them because if I want to pay my bills with my own business then I need to do the hard NON_NEGOTIABLE shit that will make that happen. I would much prefer to sit and draw and embroider all day-not take pictures of anything, not post things to instagram, not contact galleries for shows, the list goes on. But I have to implement the action steps of allowing my work to work for me and that makes the things that I don't really want to always be doing not just a priority but a non-negotiable.
Waking up an hour early each day to meditate and journal has become a non-negotiable-simply because I'm a bit of a monster without doing it. I need that simple quiet space to gather my thoughts, gather my heart, and set my mood and intention for the day. My daily mental health is not only a priority- its NON NEGOTIABLE. that simple flip in idea changes a lot and moves things into better alignment. That shift in thinking allowed me to realize that i was justifying my INACTION through "logic" and "reasoning" that my brain was really good at doing.
in a lot of ways i feel that negotiation and doing these mental olympics with yourself is a fear response. It can seem ridiculous but we often fear our abilities. fear our potential. We can fear the possibility of reaching our goals, achievement, and being exactly who we believe we can be. Because we all know that when you work towards achieving goals, striving to be better, and doing more each day what do we usually come across? The big brick fuck-you-wall-of-failure. Which is truly awesome because failure is just as much of the process as success (this will be a topic I explore more in depth later-because lordt knows we all love to hate failure).
I love me some journaling- it helps me brain dump and organize my thoughts, work things out, and generally voice everything that I have tossing about in my mind. I’ve created a freebie journaling prompts sheet that you can download on the topic of priorities and non-negotiables. I’ve also created some mantra images that you can print surrounding this topic that hopefully will help you remember to keep yourself (your mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual health) NON-NEGOTIABLE!
I would love to hear your thoughts on this. Are there any priorities that you’ve set for yourself that you seem to be unable to show up for? Is the shift of priority to non-negotiable helpful for you? What would you like to make non-negotiable for yourself? Are there any tips and tricks you can give to help create this mental shift?